Robert Fisher

Captain’s Log, Stardate 1513.1

We visited the planet M113 for a standard medical exam of archeologist Dr. Bob Crater and his wife, Nancy. We first encountered Nancy who, it turns out, was an old flame of Dr. McCoy’s. Once we talked to Dr. Crater, however, he informed us that it had not been Nancy we had spoken to, but the last survivor of the planet’s now extinct civilization. The creature has telepathic abilities that allow it to convincingly disguise itself. Dr. Crater went on to explain that the creature needs large quantities of salt to survive and his supplies were running low.

Unfortunately, the creature’s hunger for salt drove it to murder Crewman Darnell by drawing all the salt out of his body. We immediately beamed up with Dr. Crater. After consulting my senior officers, it was decided that, with the creature’s abilities, it was too dangerous to take it to a star base for transfer to a research facility. Likewise, despite his protests, it would be too dangerous to leave Dr. Crater with the creature. An adequate supply of salt was beamed down, and a beacon left in orbit to warn others of the danger. We’ll escort Dr. Crater to the nearest star base so he can report his findings to the Federation’s Science Bureau.

Captain’s Log, Stardate 3134.0

We discovered an alien device calling itself the “guardian of forever” that can show images of the past. It demonstrated this ability showing an incredible series of images from Earth’s history. Spock started recording them, while I started fantasizing about scoring with historical babes. I mean, if “starship captain” works so well, imagine how much better “starship captian...from the future” would work! I made the mistake of mentioning my thoughts to Spock, and he went on about how—despite the theoretical possibilities—travelling back in time was a logical impossibility.

Suddenly a crewman having a bad jewels of sound trip beamed down. Before we realized what was going on, he tried to jump through the guardian’s display and broke the thing.

Spock wanted to try to fix it. I gave him until we tracked down the lieutenant that was dealing, but he didn’t get very far. He forwarded his findings to Star Fleet Command to be passed on to whatever research ship gets the assignment.

Captain’s Log, Stardate 3372.7

There has been a record of Commander Spock’s request for shore leave on his native planet of Vulcan for this star date since before I took command of the Enterprise. Ever since, he has made no additional requests and has even refused opportunities for shore leave.

We received a priority order to divert to Altair VI, but this was soon followed by an order to proceed directly to Vulcan. It seemed the Vulcan ambassador had pulled some strings.

Spock was beginning to act very strangely. He explained to Dr. McCoy and myself that he was experiencing a sort of Vulcan estrus. He was returning to Vulcan for a sort of marraige ceremony, and he invited McCoy and myself to attend.

I was surprised to find that T’Pau would be presiding over this ceremony. Even more surprising, Spock’s betrothed choose to have a champion fight Spock for her, and she picked me as the champion. I’m used to alien babes finding me irresistable, but this was a bit much.

T’Pau explained that I wasn’t bound by their laws and so could honorably refuse. She also made sure that I knew up front that the fight would be to the death. I was tempted to accept anyway, thinking I’d come up with some way to make it all work out and save Spock from the chance of death. Not wanting to appear foolishly illogical in front of T’Pau, however, I declined.

Spock’s betrothed, T’Pring, then had the option to choose another champion. It looked like she was going to pick another Vulcan whom she obviously wanted. Instead she withdrew the challenge. Spock then questioned her. She explained that she saw no reason to risk her lover’s life but hoped to find another way to avoid becoming the wife of a “legend”, indicating Spock. So Spock renounced his claim on her.

McCoy later said that he’d half expected me to accept the challenge, and that—if I had done so—he planned to inject me with a sedative that would simulate death. He’d explain it as compensation for the Vulcan environment. Wouldn’t that have been embarrasing for me and Star Fleet! To die before T’Pau’s eyes only to remain in command of the Enterprise!

Captain’s Log, Stardate 5131.4

I had the wackiest dream last night. Alien babes stole Spock’s brain. McCoy rigged up a remote control for Spock’s body. We eventually got the brain back, and McCoy reinstalled it with the aid of a magic teaching colander.

No more helping Scotty finish off random bottles of alien beverages for me.

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Star Trek trivia

last updated 10 months ago #